Episode 2x13
'There's Something About War'
US Airdate: 22-Jan-2006 
UK Airdate: 12-Apr-2006

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Mary Alice starts by telling us that Edie knows the nature of war, she's had 2 failed marriages. We then see many segments of Carl and Edie disagreeing on things, her asking him to do things and him telling her to do them. Then she wants to watch a movie and Carl said he wats to watch football. She went to change into lingerie and got him to go to the bedroom. She tied him to the bed, told him she was going to get whipped cream and left him there while she watched her movie. (eatine pie with extra whipped cream)
"to the victor, go the spoils"

Lynette

Lynette was busy figuring stuff out for work. Tom decided to help her out. She had to work on different pitches to attract customers to certain products. Lynette tells Tom the pitch was accepted. Tom happy that he came up with it. Lynette said Ed was finally looking for a new ad exectutive and Tom was interested in the job. Lynette didn't want him to work with her and he got insulted. She thinks living together and working together is a recipe for disaster.
Ed and Lynette are passing interviews and Ed tells her the next interviewee is Tom Kavos...she turns to see it's Tom who showed up. Lynette goes to talk to talk to him before the interview and he tells her to let him take his shot. He said "a little part of me has been hating you since you took my promotion away". Ed looking at tom's resumeand loves stuff he's done in the past and thinks it's great. Lynette tried to ruin it by bringing up Tom's last job when he was fired. he comes up with a good reason for it and Ed still loves him and wants to hire him instantly. Lynette said let her call for references first.
Lynette gets home and told Tom she told Ed he was her husband but ed was cool with it. She agrees to let Tom work there ut he promise never to throw it in her face again about her egtting him fired from his last job or he will unleash demons he doesn't want to meet. Says she needs to be forgiven and he says he already has forgiven her.

Susan

Susan getting hom efrom another date with Dr.Ron and she asks if she repulses him because they have been on 3 dates and he has always been a gentleman. He tells her he is inches away from ripping off her clothes but because he is her doctor, it wouldn't be ethical. But then he kisses her and says "ah.. what the hell?"
At his office the next day, they are looking at x-rays. he tells her she will need her spleen removed and he will do the operation. A nurse congratulates him and Susan asks why. the nurse tells her because it will be the first spleen operation he has done. Susan is nervous.
They were having dinner and Susan couldn't help but stare at the way he was cutting his steak. tells him she doesn't really trust him to so the surgery. Says he can't even cut a steak, he replies "it's not the freshest meat" and she says "neither am I. I got 35 years on that cow"  He gets insulted and leaves.
She later goes to see him at the hospital, tells him she's been waiting 3 hours to talk to him. Tells him she's lost so many men so what's another and she's trying to act tough. He tells her that 2 hours ago, there were flowers, champagne and a letter of apology delivered to her dorrstep. He asks for forgiveness and tels her he'd hate himself if he lost her and she says "I couldn't let you hate yourself" and they made up.

Gabby

In chuch Carlos is teling Gabby how badly he wants kids. She tells him she needs time before getting pregnant again. The priest then announces that sister Mary is back from her missionary trip and Gabby blurts out "Son of a bitch!" and everyone looks at her.

Carlos later meets with Mary and tells her that Gabby is jealous of her. He tells her he wants kids really bad and Gabby won't promise him kids. She says maybe Gabby is using it as a stall tactic and won't ever want kids. She tells him he is screwed unless...and then hands him an annulment paper.
He confronts Gabby and tells her to promise him kids. She said she can'tand he has to accept that. he hansd her the annulment paper and she says "the only promise I am making you is I promise this is so not over"
Gabby goes to the church to see a priest and he is confession. She asks him to get rid of Sister Mary because she is ruining her marriage. the preist asks if Gabby has reason to believe Carlos and sister Mary have had sex and Gabby says "yeah...yep they are having sex, Carlos confessed before asking for an annulment", the priest storms out. Another priest goes into confession and Gabby follows and admits to have fibbed.

She gets home and Carlos looking upset getting off phone. Says Sister Mary was transferred to a parish in Alaska and has no idea why.
Gabby goes to the church and sees sister Mary scrubbing floors. She said she was there to say "goodbye". Mary knew Gabby had something to do with it and Gabby said she was a humble sinner. Mary tells her the problems in the marriage aren't going away and Gabby said "but you certainly are" and as she walks away she said "you missed a spot"  Mary throws the scrub brush at Gabby's head and Gabby went up to her and slapped her. They start fighting, pulling hair etc.. and Gabby shoves sister Mary right into the area where all the candles are and her sleeve lights on fire. gabby gets the fire out and feels bad but then Sister Mary bites her and they continue fighting. A priest came t intervene.

When Gabby gets off the phone Carlos asks her what the hell she was thinking. He's still upset cuz he wants kids and Gabby tells him that he made a promise to her years ago "'til death do us part" and now he is throwing words like annulment around. She tells him "I'm not just some uterus in high heels" . She tells him he has to make a decision, their marriage or kids so she can move on. He says "of course I choose you" and she tells him she thinks that's the right decision. And then she tells him she wants to have a baby with him and they hug.

Bree and the Applewhites

Matthew had given Caleb the spare room upstairs at the Applewhite's and covered the windows with newspapers. Betty wanted him to stay in the basement but Matthew refused. She asked him 'since when do you talk to me like that?" and he said "since I share the risks".

Then Bree sees Danielle's backpack and goes up to her room to bring it to her. (we see Matthew and Danielle kissing, some clothes off). Danielle gets clothes onand let's bree in. Bree takes danielle's laundry and sees a shirt near the bed (it was Matthew's and his hans come sout from under bed to hand her the shirt). Bree shocked and brings Matthew to his house to tell Betty what happened. Betty slapped Matthew across the face and tells Bree it won't happen again, they are moving.
Later Bree goes to see Danielle who is crying in bed. tells Bree she is jealous because her life is getting started and Bree's is over. Tells Bree she is dried up and biter and no man will ever want her. Bree tells Danielle she has always wanted her to be happy so Danielle says "don't just want it, amke it happen"

Bree went to see Betty to tell her if they both control their kids they can stop them from seeing eachother. She then notices Caleb staring out of window from upstairs and tells Betty she has to leave. She tells Danielle when she gets home to stay far away from the Applewhites and tells Danielle they are hiding the guy who broke into Gabby's etc...
Bree then leaves a message for Lynette

Matthew meets Danielle some place and Danielle tells him everything Bree told her. She asks Matthew to confide in him and says she has secrets of her own which if ever found out would put her brother and mother in jail. he asked her to tell him her secrets first.

Betty shows up at Bree's and tells her they need to talk before Bree does something foolish. Tells Bree the person in the room is her other son and that he didn't harm Gabby, he just isn't all there. She starts telling Bree how wonderful maternal instincts are and how mothers will go to any lenghth to protect their children "like me and like you" Bree confused as to what she means and Betty tells her that is she breathes 1 word of anything going on that she wil go to Carlos and Gabby and tell them that it was Andrew driving the car that killed Juanita Solis. Bree was shocked she knew all this. Just then the doorbell rings and it was all the ladies wanting the "scoop" on the Applewhites. Bree tells them that Betty is quite the poker player and that she has invited her over to join in their weekly poker game.

Mary Alice then says
Everyone understands the nature of war
-we see them all playing poker

we also understand that victory depends on the cards we have been dealt
-we see Susan and Gabby

some when faced with a bloody battle simply give in
-Betty staring at Bree

but for some surrender is unacceptable
-Bree staring at Betty

Betty says "well Bree, what are you going to do?" (while playing poker)

even though they know it will be a fight......
-Bree says "I'll raise you" (with a wicked look in her eyes)

to the death.